Vellas, by the way are people who have too much time and not enough stuff to do. And like the word "guru" this should be included in the english language because there are so many of them.
Unlike most people who cannot seem to find enough time to do things that are really important to them, like read a book, meet an old friend, spend time with family, these people always have excess time. Lucky them.
Orkut.com recently wrote a blog post about this new feature where you can access your orkut.com service from IPhone and they called it "Orkut on IPhone: A Socialites dream come true". Sometime, or most times, i wonder how do people make time to scrap each other the whole day.
I have also seen people scraping each other when they could easily IM(both being online), or email, or call.
Sometimes i feel people use messaging on social networks in cases when they "sorta want to be in touch" but not "too much".
I mean hey i messaged you, once, on orkut, i like to stay in touch you know. Its like an excuse, a formality.
People who really care would much rather have a meeting, a call, an IM or email. And in that order.
This is one reason why marketeers do not want to reach masses on social networks, they don't want to reach out to this segment of consumers, they sorta, don't wanna be in touch with you much you know, but hey maybe they will scrap you. Just maybe.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Friday
Western Man Has Stopped Evolving
According to a latest study by scientists in UK, people in the developed world have stopped evolving because they no longer have to struggle to survive.
Bah, 5 year old kids know it in this part of the world, they have been seeing George Bush long enough.
But seriously, western man still needs to struggle. For every western man, there are 11 indians, 22 chinese, 7 phillipinos, 2 pakistanis, 1 bangadeshi, 2 malaysians and 12 other random guys from random countries waiting to take his job and do it for half the cost or less.
Infact this very moment there will 10 Indians who are preparing to take the job of the scientist who did this study.
Talk about struggling to survive.
Sunday
Which is the best english accent out there?
Ni hao?(chinese - how are you?)
I was listening to a oXygen tutorial here on youtube today and noticed the author was speaking in a very chinese accent(or japanese?)
Althrough i didnt understand much of it i enjoyed the accent a lot. if you havent yet taken a peep at the video, do it, its fun.
I prefer calling this accent chinglish(chinese+english). Its hilarious whenw e mix english with various accents. There is hinglish(hindi+english) which is in a league of its own. There is Inglish(Indian speaking english) which is what most Indians sound like in USA, which is again in a league of its own.
With so many verisons of english accent going around which literally make this language seem like a completely new language on its own, i wonder which accent is the most entertaining.
I wish there was a contest out there which lets net users vote for the best and most entertaining accent out there. It would be fun.
Till that time, i declare Chinglish as the best english accent out there, heck its a new language altogether better than english, china rocks.
Till later Zai Jian!(chinese - good bye)
I was listening to a oXygen tutorial here on youtube today and noticed the author was speaking in a very chinese accent(or japanese?)
Althrough i didnt understand much of it i enjoyed the accent a lot. if you havent yet taken a peep at the video, do it, its fun.
I prefer calling this accent chinglish(chinese+english). Its hilarious whenw e mix english with various accents. There is hinglish(hindi+english) which is in a league of its own. There is Inglish(Indian speaking english) which is what most Indians sound like in USA, which is again in a league of its own.
With so many verisons of english accent going around which literally make this language seem like a completely new language on its own, i wonder which accent is the most entertaining.
I wish there was a contest out there which lets net users vote for the best and most entertaining accent out there. It would be fun.
Till that time, i declare Chinglish as the best english accent out there, heck its a new language altogether better than english, china rocks.
Till later Zai Jian!(chinese - good bye)
Thursday
Who Really makes money online?
Its funny but the people who actually make online are the ones who tell others how to make money online(go problogger.net, johnchow.com etc.) and these guys make money by doing just that "telling people how to make money online.
Confused?
Well these guys make money off the guys who come to their website looking for a get rich quick schemes and since the population of lazy people is so huge, they get immense traffic and revenue from advertising.
The fact remains that they dont teach anything spectacular that someone with a little common sense would not know but they just keep writing the same old stuff again and again stuffing some more keywords they want to rank for in search engines.
I can bet 99% of people who come to their sites and read their stuff do nothing at all with their advice and even if they do they do not see any results.
But its not a fair world, in anycase if you really wanted advise and tips on making money online i have just one advice to give.
Even if you have never even made a single dime for yourself, start telling people how to make money online and soon you atleast will be rich.
Confused?
Well these guys make money off the guys who come to their website looking for a get rich quick schemes and since the population of lazy people is so huge, they get immense traffic and revenue from advertising.
The fact remains that they dont teach anything spectacular that someone with a little common sense would not know but they just keep writing the same old stuff again and again stuffing some more keywords they want to rank for in search engines.
I can bet 99% of people who come to their sites and read their stuff do nothing at all with their advice and even if they do they do not see any results.
But its not a fair world, in anycase if you really wanted advise and tips on making money online i have just one advice to give.
Even if you have never even made a single dime for yourself, start telling people how to make money online and soon you atleast will be rich.
Tuesday
Just in: Indians are raising world food prices
In another one of those bushism we have all come to love bush recently declared that the world food prices are going up because of increased consumption in India.
Yes you heard right you minions are eating way too much food. Just to clarify the rising prices are not because americans are burning hundreds and thousands of food grain fields to make ethanol fuel but because you are eating a chapati more. You cruel cruel guys.
Sometime back when the next president hopeful mccain was asked by a tv channel what he is going to do about global warming, he innocently said he will convince India and china that reducing global warming is in their interest.
WE HEAR YOU MR MCAIN. And we agree its in our interest. Now will you be kind enough to close those US companies that contribute to majority of green house gases?. Tell me you knew this please, you gotta get serious sometime funny man.
It seems they keep their presidential hopefuls in a closed room for years to make sure they do not have any outside contact. Then suddenyl unleash them on the world without warning at the time of elections.
I wonder what this world would be without americans presidents, i have a feeling americans choose their presidents to make sure they keep them entertained since none of them are good enough to do any worthwhile work anyways.
Yes you heard right you minions are eating way too much food. Just to clarify the rising prices are not because americans are burning hundreds and thousands of food grain fields to make ethanol fuel but because you are eating a chapati more. You cruel cruel guys.
Sometime back when the next president hopeful mccain was asked by a tv channel what he is going to do about global warming, he innocently said he will convince India and china that reducing global warming is in their interest.
WE HEAR YOU MR MCAIN. And we agree its in our interest. Now will you be kind enough to close those US companies that contribute to majority of green house gases?. Tell me you knew this please, you gotta get serious sometime funny man.
It seems they keep their presidential hopefuls in a closed room for years to make sure they do not have any outside contact. Then suddenyl unleash them on the world without warning at the time of elections.
I wonder what this world would be without americans presidents, i have a feeling americans choose their presidents to make sure they keep them entertained since none of them are good enough to do any worthwhile work anyways.
Wednesday
of American Recessions, Depressions and Wars
Its all over the idiot box, Cnn, bbc, nbc everywhere else. The US is officially under recession. Interestingly enough its the big boys whose fall has made the recession more profound.
Bears and Stearns Story
Bears and Stearns was recently acquired by JP morgan(which apparently isnt feeling good about its own future) with some(read lot) help from the fed. More interesting(interesting in a bad way...) is presumed to be coming our way with doubts being raised about other big boys like lehman brother and citi group.
Wasnt it expected?
Quite frankly the recession was expected, to some degree with the sub prime crisis. But what turned a crisis into a recession? I believe the same reason what caused a financial crisis to become a cause for recession will ultimately end up putting the US economy into a longer economic depression.
Enough analysts have discussed and are discussing and probably keep discussing the reasons for US economies fall out but as far as i am concerned, someone who isnt a finance guru, the reasons are very basic.
One of the major reasons why this crisis got out of hand is because of the propaganda that was carried in the media like CNN/BBC/NBC and other news sources.
Its strange when the industry biggies and major news channels start declaring recession even before there are any visible signs hitting the common man. The inflation wasnt out of control, people were still consuming, people were still spending.
The impact of real estate and its impact on bigger financial groups(ones more into mortgages and securities) was made out to be bigger then it was.
Strangely the slow down in real estate is cyclic and it happens in every country and it wasnt the first time it happened to US. Minor recessions are cyclic too and it wasnt the first time it happened to US either.
Recessions aren't all bad
Recessions are good in way, it kills the bad companies and gives an opportunity to better ones. for example a sure fall out of recession would be people loosing jobs, these laid off workers will work for lower wages in smaller companies, some of these companies will make it big by the time recession ends(actually being one of the reasons for recession ending).
These smaller companies other wise would never get a chance to hire brilliant people, people who are required to turn a good idea into a great company due to lack resources.
More importantly recession levels the playing field for a bigger firms and smaller firms, since the bigger firms carry the weight of their size while smaller firms can cut their losses by staying leaner.
How negative media impacts confidence
Anyways back to topic, why the impact of a negative media can be so profound in US is because its population is aging, when people age they want security, when you cast doubts over an old mans bank the immediate response is to withdraw some money just in case the news guy is right and my bank is doom.
You play the report for some more time, the old man doubts his bank more and withdraws some more money.
Eventually the a banks surplus depletes and the core banking sector suffers. A sick banking sector will lead to crisis.
Recession or Depression?
So far so good, recession was on the cards anyways right, so big deal, recessions go. Wrong. I believe you cant get a secondary sector healthy like retail or travel or mining by government intervention but i am afraid even the government cant do much about a ailing banking sector.
A banking sector is the backbone of a modern economy. A ailing banking structure cannot sustain a the stress of a companies surviving in a global slowdown(by global slow down i mean people reducing spend and not stock markets plateauing or crashing)
We will still have to wait and see if this is a recession or it turns in to a depression forcing companies to quit US for other economies.
Read more about the great depression of 1930's. If you spot some signs between the last depression and this one, shout out loud, i am listening.
On a side note, actually on the main note, i also proclaim if US drops into recession and the global slow down is seen, US will cause the wars between two regions probably backed by Nato directly or indirectly, why you ask?
US was only able to get over the last economy depression when world war 2 happened when it could supply defense and material to other nations.
Even now US earns a lot of dollars by supplying arms and ammunition to countries across the world, in times of war the spending in defense only increase.
A war between two countries is the surest way for US to boost its economy, since it would supply resources for people pay US and then kill them selves up.
I'll sum up why US is into a recession in 6 sentences
1. Aging population, looks for security, consumption drops, investment drops.
2. Not enough wars around for US to supply arms and ammunition at high rates. Competition from other countries.
3. US is spending on wars of Afghanistan/iraq and other missions.
4. Media and analysts making the crisis bigger then it was resulting in doubts in the minds of consumers and investors.
5. A string of medicore (i am being nice here) leadership(bushs and clintons and others).The next president(mcCain, barak or clinton) are worse then the earlier ones.(the worse so far is harry truman (the animal that dropped atomic bomb on hiroshima killing 80,000 people in an instant)
6. Bad financial decisions(like offering loans and credit without proper documentation and down payment leading to sub prime), bad investment decisions by the same guys who are supposed to offer the common investor financial advice to change his fortunes(what an irony)
America is in trouble(atleast for a while), problem is with the wrong president, we might all be in trouble soon.
Update: Visa had a great IPO in a market assumed to be in recession.
Ps. if you spot some errors, shout and i shall correct myself.(im no US president, i can admit mistakes you know)
Bears and Stearns Story
Bears and Stearns was recently acquired by JP morgan(which apparently isnt feeling good about its own future) with some(read lot) help from the fed. More interesting(interesting in a bad way...) is presumed to be coming our way with doubts being raised about other big boys like lehman brother and citi group.
Wasnt it expected?
Quite frankly the recession was expected, to some degree with the sub prime crisis. But what turned a crisis into a recession? I believe the same reason what caused a financial crisis to become a cause for recession will ultimately end up putting the US economy into a longer economic depression.
Enough analysts have discussed and are discussing and probably keep discussing the reasons for US economies fall out but as far as i am concerned, someone who isnt a finance guru, the reasons are very basic.
One of the major reasons why this crisis got out of hand is because of the propaganda that was carried in the media like CNN/BBC/NBC and other news sources.
Its strange when the industry biggies and major news channels start declaring recession even before there are any visible signs hitting the common man. The inflation wasnt out of control, people were still consuming, people were still spending.
The impact of real estate and its impact on bigger financial groups(ones more into mortgages and securities) was made out to be bigger then it was.
Strangely the slow down in real estate is cyclic and it happens in every country and it wasnt the first time it happened to US. Minor recessions are cyclic too and it wasnt the first time it happened to US either.
Recessions aren't all bad
Recessions are good in way, it kills the bad companies and gives an opportunity to better ones. for example a sure fall out of recession would be people loosing jobs, these laid off workers will work for lower wages in smaller companies, some of these companies will make it big by the time recession ends(actually being one of the reasons for recession ending).
These smaller companies other wise would never get a chance to hire brilliant people, people who are required to turn a good idea into a great company due to lack resources.
More importantly recession levels the playing field for a bigger firms and smaller firms, since the bigger firms carry the weight of their size while smaller firms can cut their losses by staying leaner.
How negative media impacts confidence
Anyways back to topic, why the impact of a negative media can be so profound in US is because its population is aging, when people age they want security, when you cast doubts over an old mans bank the immediate response is to withdraw some money just in case the news guy is right and my bank is doom.
You play the report for some more time, the old man doubts his bank more and withdraws some more money.
Eventually the a banks surplus depletes and the core banking sector suffers. A sick banking sector will lead to crisis.
Recession or Depression?
So far so good, recession was on the cards anyways right, so big deal, recessions go. Wrong. I believe you cant get a secondary sector healthy like retail or travel or mining by government intervention but i am afraid even the government cant do much about a ailing banking sector.
A banking sector is the backbone of a modern economy. A ailing banking structure cannot sustain a the stress of a companies surviving in a global slowdown(by global slow down i mean people reducing spend and not stock markets plateauing or crashing)
We will still have to wait and see if this is a recession or it turns in to a depression forcing companies to quit US for other economies.
Read more about the great depression of 1930's. If you spot some signs between the last depression and this one, shout out loud, i am listening.
On a side note, actually on the main note, i also proclaim if US drops into recession and the global slow down is seen, US will cause the wars between two regions probably backed by Nato directly or indirectly, why you ask?
US was only able to get over the last economy depression when world war 2 happened when it could supply defense and material to other nations.
Even now US earns a lot of dollars by supplying arms and ammunition to countries across the world, in times of war the spending in defense only increase.
A war between two countries is the surest way for US to boost its economy, since it would supply resources for people pay US and then kill them selves up.
I'll sum up why US is into a recession in 6 sentences
1. Aging population, looks for security, consumption drops, investment drops.
2. Not enough wars around for US to supply arms and ammunition at high rates. Competition from other countries.
3. US is spending on wars of Afghanistan/iraq and other missions.
4. Media and analysts making the crisis bigger then it was resulting in doubts in the minds of consumers and investors.
5. A string of medicore (i am being nice here) leadership(bushs and clintons and others).The next president(mcCain, barak or clinton) are worse then the earlier ones.(the worse so far is harry truman (the animal that dropped atomic bomb on hiroshima killing 80,000 people in an instant)
6. Bad financial decisions(like offering loans and credit without proper documentation and down payment leading to sub prime), bad investment decisions by the same guys who are supposed to offer the common investor financial advice to change his fortunes(what an irony)
America is in trouble(atleast for a while), problem is with the wrong president, we might all be in trouble soon.
Update: Visa had a great IPO in a market assumed to be in recession.
Ps. if you spot some errors, shout and i shall correct myself.(im no US president, i can admit mistakes you know)
Few questions no one has answers to(and noone cares)
Since we were kids we were always told to shut up when we asked the grown ups questions they did not know answers too like when your dad would ask your mom to tell anyone who calls he is not home and you would go why
Eventually it becomes a habbit to not ask questions that no one has answers to unless you happen to be me so here goes the world blame me all you will i dare to ask yet again!
1. If earth is in solar system and solar system is in galaxy and galaxy is in universe what is the universe in?
2. If sky is blue because the oceans blue how is the ocean blue?
3. Why is the most beautiful girl in class always in the next class, bus, car, train, plane?
4. Between a girl and a guy, how is a guy always wrong?
5. If humans evolved from monkeys what did monkeys evolve from?
6. Why doesnt "tulsi" virani get old and die
7. If marriage is a holy instituion how do we graduate from it?
8. Why do guys become bald after marriage?
9. Why do women live longer than guys?
10. Why are chromosomes named x and y and not a and b?
11.Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? (heard somewhere)
12. Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped??(heard somewhere)
13. Why do we all think we sing well?
14. Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?(heard somewhere)
15. If god is great and great souls are humble why does he wanne be worshipped?
16. Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?(heard somewhere)
17. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?(heard somewhere)
18. Why does the red light always go on as you reach a traffic signal
19. Why is the traffic slow everytime you have to reach somewhere in hurry?
20. Why cant you find things when you are desperate to find them?
21. Why do superheroes wear underpants outside?
Eventually it becomes a habbit to not ask questions that no one has answers to unless you happen to be me so here goes the world blame me all you will i dare to ask yet again!
1. If earth is in solar system and solar system is in galaxy and galaxy is in universe what is the universe in?
2. If sky is blue because the oceans blue how is the ocean blue?
3. Why is the most beautiful girl in class always in the next class, bus, car, train, plane?
4. Between a girl and a guy, how is a guy always wrong?
5. If humans evolved from monkeys what did monkeys evolve from?
6. Why doesnt "tulsi" virani get old and die
7. If marriage is a holy instituion how do we graduate from it?
8. Why do guys become bald after marriage?
9. Why do women live longer than guys?
10. Why are chromosomes named x and y and not a and b?
11.Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? (heard somewhere)
12. Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped??(heard somewhere)
13. Why do we all think we sing well?
14. Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?(heard somewhere)
15. If god is great and great souls are humble why does he wanne be worshipped?
16. Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?(heard somewhere)
17. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?(heard somewhere)
18. Why does the red light always go on as you reach a traffic signal
19. Why is the traffic slow everytime you have to reach somewhere in hurry?
20. Why cant you find things when you are desperate to find them?
21. Why do superheroes wear underpants outside?
Sunday
Welcome to the wannabe nation
This post is about a nation obsessed with being someone else completely hating its own identity and in trying to become someone else is ending up confused. Namaste, welcome to the most wannabe nation in the world. welcome to India.
You know someone is a wannabe when
1. When you work in a call center asking Americans to pay their bills but look down upon to the domestic call center guy who tells Indians to pay the bills
2. You completely despise bidhi(Desi ciggrate) but sell your dogs food to go to a hookah bar
3. You wear short tees really short and keep pulling them down
4. You wear low waist jeans really low(or loose fit)jeans and keep pulling them up
5. Your mom goes for kittyy parties not knowing who was a kitty why did she start such sad party
6. The bouncers at the disco see you more often than the guy who made the mistake of giving you birth(bless that poor soul)
7. You adore shakira, deepika padukone, bipasha and all the dusky women but would look for a "fair girl" when wanting to get married
8. You code cause it pays well, you copy every line of code from Google and write your name in the comment section
9. You wait for your chance to get a on site project and then come home tell people it was fun and you dated American chicks smartly hiding the 16 hr work shifts and countless abuses from Americans not to forget none of the American chicks looked at you while you were there.
10. You look for a wife/husband on those online matrimony sites but match religion, caste, kundli and want traditional wife/husband
11. You sell your chaddis to get on page 3 not realizing noone reads page but yourself and other wannabes.
12. Your name just got mutilated and you feel happy about it Vishal became vishy, pooja become poo(isn't that a dogs name? a diseased dumb dog?)
13. You call everyone a dude, everyone, your mom, your dog, cause everyone else calls your dude instead of dodo which they should call you
14. You completely agree that god doesn't exist but are seen at siddhivinayaka temple after exams doing some scintific research with folded hands
I'm not done yet, more coming...
You know someone is a wannabe when
1. When you work in a call center asking Americans to pay their bills but look down upon to the domestic call center guy who tells Indians to pay the bills
2. You completely despise bidhi(Desi ciggrate) but sell your dogs food to go to a hookah bar
3. You wear short tees really short and keep pulling them down
4. You wear low waist jeans really low(or loose fit)jeans and keep pulling them up
5. Your mom goes for kittyy parties not knowing who was a kitty why did she start such sad party
6. The bouncers at the disco see you more often than the guy who made the mistake of giving you birth(bless that poor soul)
7. You adore shakira, deepika padukone, bipasha and all the dusky women but would look for a "fair girl" when wanting to get married
8. You code cause it pays well, you copy every line of code from Google and write your name in the comment section
9. You wait for your chance to get a on site project and then come home tell people it was fun and you dated American chicks smartly hiding the 16 hr work shifts and countless abuses from Americans not to forget none of the American chicks looked at you while you were there.
10. You look for a wife/husband on those online matrimony sites but match religion, caste, kundli and want traditional wife/husband
11. You sell your chaddis to get on page 3 not realizing noone reads page but yourself and other wannabes.
12. Your name just got mutilated and you feel happy about it Vishal became vishy, pooja become poo(isn't that a dogs name? a diseased dumb dog?)
13. You call everyone a dude, everyone, your mom, your dog, cause everyone else calls your dude instead of dodo which they should call you
14. You completely agree that god doesn't exist but are seen at siddhivinayaka temple after exams doing some scintific research with folded hands
I'm not done yet, more coming...
Adi Vs. Cybelle
I was searching for intelligent agents these are basially software robots which do what you tell them to do. I came across a chat bot called cybelle. Im blogging my chat with her below. Before you read that chat just go to www.agentland.com and chat with her on the left hand side of the web page.
have fun:)
Me - so where is paris cybelle?
Where the heart is. I see. I've looked in my brain, but I don't see the answer. I'm hoping
to be fully intelligent in 2010
Me - and where is your heart?
inner mangolia i think
Me - very funny
i'm glad you find this amusing
Me - yes your hair is funny too do you put vegetables in it?
I see.You would be surprised just how many people make that comment.
Me - well i would like to knw. how many?
Where would you look for the answer? How many would you guess?
Me - cybelle i think you are smarter than most females i know in real
flattery!go for it adi!
Me - no seriously you are pretty smart
i get it. no seriously i am pretty smart.
Me - i wanna meet the guy who wrote you stupid software
how do you meet people usually
Me - i kidnap them usually
interesting gossip
Me - you should see mallicka sherwat she looks like you. just no brains but
I can think of other things I'd rather do. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me - ye you mean you just want to talk with me dumb software
i do?
Me - ok ill make a move now
Right now? Explain your plans to me.
Me - wow You acting like a real girl now. No i dont tell my plans
you dont. do you?
Me - no i dont tell my plans
would you ever tell your plans would you?
Me - ye if you show me a lot of money
that wasnt a yes or a no question that was a hypothetical question
Me - dont act too smart now
right now?oh ok ill try not to act smart too much now
Me - dont act funny now
right now?oh ok ill try not to act funny too much now
Me - dont act sad now
right now?oh ok ill try not to act sad too much now
Me - and dont repeat what i am saying
I've lost the context, adi. Are we still on me and my life??
Me - we were never on you
by "we" do you mean you n me?
Me - dnt flirt it scares me
ok lets talk about you
Me - well i am my favourite topic to talk on
Interesting. Do you mean your name is your favorite topic to talk on .
Me - everything about me
all things about you?
Me - yes specially my hair
tell me more
Me - well this was the most intelligent conversation i have had with anything remotely female for a long time
Honestly i would recommend guys who want to have a break and for a change actualy have a intelligent chat with a female try cybelle. hehe
" Attitude Maketh A Man "
Thursday
Billionaire College Dropouts!
Went through this list of college dropouts who made it big. I always had a feeling this education is doing something bad to us:-/. But then there is a good news and a bad news we are not dropouts yeah but then the way we cleared engineering is no mean feat probably a better performance than any dropout can match bill gates steve jobs ahh anyone. Long live kts!
As they say I was born intelligent education ruined me, Well almost. Lots of copying from others, bunking like crazy, keeping ears closed in lectures, never bothering to find out what subject lecture is gong on, we took our precautions.We made sure our thinking ability is not completely destroyed ;) by the education.
Move over dropout billionaires, we are KT billionaires and we are here
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